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Everything wrong with lion king 2

EWW video Lion King 2 aired December 31, 2015.

Transcript Edit

  1. What, no well-animated castle?
  2. (the song plays "He Lives in You") This beginning song of your life plays with the same as the Circle of Life, but now we're starting off for a sequel of life.
  3. ("Ubukhosi bo khokho, we ndodana ye sizwe sonke!") Gibberish manifest yodeling.
  4. Say our prayers and let animals bow down their heads, because their mammals. And most mammals bow MOST of their heads.
  5. What? We already did the "giving cub-birth" in the first movie! Jesus, now we're giving another cub as birth to a nearby film?
  6. ("It is a girl." "GIRL?!? OY!") Where can you call this cub? I would name that cub Kiara.
  7. Truth meaning is, that Kiara is small, because the Pride Lands knew anything about the birth you gave to Rafiki, a monkey doctor of the unknown of all.
  8. Isn't this a normal time when you see a butterfly on a rock? Man, that's good will hunting.
  9. Also, manifest hunting.
  10. (while Kiara leaped into the water after got scared by Timon) Man, her jump scare resistance is on point!
  11. ("The good news is, we found your daughter! The bad news is, I dropped a warthog on it, is there a problem with that?") No, you made that up! It's a direct-to-video movie for children, not for adults.
  12. Also, this movie is racist for putting a warthog in the water.
  13. (Pumbaa spits out a bad bug he ate "Oh, you always do that!") Grub puking.
  14. Who knew? Kovu is a cub love interest. I love watching Disney history!
  15. ("We make a great team.") If anything helps better to make great teams for Disney, direct-to-videos are much better than the great sh*t of their life!
  16. Also, Kovu.
  17. Whoa! What's that? I never heard of a female roar before!
  18. Suddenly, Zira!
  19. ("GET OUT OF OUR PRIDE LANDS!") That's racist.
  20. Zira is probably the greatest female villain in the movie 101 Dalmatians which is a live-action remake in the 90s. Which means it is unable to write a script about Zira.
  21. (when Simba pushes Kiara to the ground) Kiara did not get hurt when there's dust.)
  22. (the song "We Are One" is playing) Three and a half minutes of musical number.
  23. Vitani is mauling a tree branch. Which leads me to the question: What's better than a mauling branch? A new branch in the Pride Lands!
  24. Is "termites" your great word where Nuka hates them? This movie is racist to the well proven direct-to-video for kids.
  25. Is putting the cub to sleep where children can watch? Because, that is what they do, jeez.
  26. Zira puts our famous way to write our unnecessary musical number to our excuse for "Be Prepared", but didn't drug them up while watching this.
  27. Also, the song "My Lullaby".
  28. Boom! We knew that Nuka hated termites, but after Vitani ate this branch for dinner once she destroyed everything in the Pride Lands! Whenever you do, do not masturbate the Pride Lands.
  29. "Coconut drops to the ground and breaks it in half" cliche.
  30. ("Are you crazy? This'll never work! Mufasa, your head is up there too long your head is in the clouds!") F*******CK YOU! You don't get to make this joke building an entire career out of this sh*t in this theater is bemoaning. That's like, not putting Mufasa in a direct-to-video, so f*ck you, man.
  31. "Expositional gust of wind blown into the monkey's face" cliche.
  32. ("I will avenge Scar. Take his place to the Pride Lands.") Scar didn't even exist in this time period!
  33. Also, Kovu is grown up to be a normal lion.
  34. Why are they sad? You're in a children's movie! This scene became a most popular engagement in the Pride Lands. Okay, add this sin and ding it, then.
  35. ("This place is even creepier than the hyenas ran off.") That's racist.
  36. Also, the hyenas don't exist in this sequel!
  37. This location is actually the same as the first movie, which doesn't care to do anything about losing your villain privileges.
  38. (while Timon spies on Kiara") Is "I Spy" a game where common meerkats can play? If so, that's peeping.
  39. Also, Kiara is now grown up as a lion too.
  40. ("This must be where the deer and antelope play!") Haven't you ever seen the song "Home on the Range"? Because we're sinning this 2004 movie which I'll have to avoid 2 hours in a dramatic film.
  41. ("Hey, is it hot in here or is that just me? FIRE!!!") Man, Nuka didn't notice something in the flames because the Pride Lands had nothing to do with Mt. Doom's Literal Fires of Hell in this movie for children.
  42. What's that? Another fire scene in the Pride Lands? We already seen this in the first movie for once!
  43. Man, Kiara gave me a heart attack when Nuka didn't notice for flames which scared the sh*t out of me.
  44. ("You're safe...in the Pride Lands.") I know! That's because rescuing from a fire makes a good job for a lion fireman!
  45. (when Kovu said "What are you doing?") Oh, you remembered someone who didn't vandalize your anger anymore? Jesus, you met a grown up teenager.
  46. ("It's a good thing I did. I almost lost you. No more hunts for me, not ever.") That's racist.
  47. ("Hey! You! How dare you save the King's daughter?") I know, right? It's the great time Kovu became a lion fireman and doesn't know where firemen are.
  48. ("I humbly ask to join her pride." "NO! You were banished from the other Outsiders!") That's more racist.
  49. ("Did you see that? He let her go! If that we're me, I...") Sentence cut off.
  50. ("And once, he has Simba alone...") "Villain splits branch in half" cliche.
  51. A full minute of nightmare sequence.
  52. Remember that guy did this when Mufasa died? Because he is now grown up and the hyenas have returned.
  53. ("Gotcha! Trust me.") Scar would be dramatically great and returned at CinemaSins.
  54. "Evil villain morphs into a grown up lion" cliche.
  55. (while Simba wakes up from his nightmare) Now, what if this happened while Nala didn't wake up?
  56. Is hunting your game where most common lions can do? If so, Simba would be so soar if a direct-to-video you put in is for children.
  57. (birds make spitting noises and rhinos create nose puffing) Double jumpscare.
  58. Kovu and his entire gang are escaped to the Prometheus School of Running Away From Things.
  59. Man, your spaghetti kiss sounds awesome!
  60. ("A place in your heart, called...Upendi!") Hold on. Upendi? That's kind of racist you put in for kids, that's "love" in Swahili.
  61. Man, this Swahili musical number is an excuse for Tunnel of Glove, which didn't approve someone else, I'm gonna kiss 'em. That'll solve the issue.
  62. Also, I've never seen a lion kiss while everyone's doing a kids movie. That seems kind of depressing.
  63. You know, for kids!
  64. (when lionesses are walking towards Simba with yellow glowing eyes) Is this reenacting scenes of Platoon? This is worse or better than Resident Evil or Call of Duty.
  65. ("What are you doing out here, and so...alone?") I know, right? Because lions are not zombies! Because that's the plan your looking for is not for children.
  66. ("Yes! We got him!") Concussion.
  67. ("This is my moment...of glory!") Nuka has clearly gone for his temper. The log's gonna get tipped now.
  68. Simba: 100%. Nuka: Zero.
  69. ("I'm sorry, Mother. I tried...") "Lion giving last lines to villain" cliche.
  70. ("Kovu...ambush.") Ladies and gentlemen, death!
  71. ("Scar...watch over my poor Nuka.") That's even more racist to kids.
  72. ("You cannot escape it! Nuka is dead because of you!" "You killed your own brother!") That's because you tipped the log doesn't mean it's a kids movie for adults. Man, I'm not good at nature movies. Jesus.
  73. No one ever notices a scar on his face before.
  74. ("Let me out 'em! Let me out 'em!") That "let me go" reference is actually pretty good. However, Timon's tail is sh*tty.
  75. ("EXILE!") Exile who? Can't Simba arrest it in?
  76. ("Deception...disgrace...") Your punishment is a song against you.
  77. A reflection of Scar gives me a headache. Because Kovu hated Scar to almost anything.
  78. (when Rafiki is sad after Kovu runs) I can see why he's sad. He's lost all his coloring!
  79. ("You will never be Mufasa!") Nope. There's no Mufasa in a direct-to-video. It's in his nightmare.
  80. This musical number is another name for love after "Upendi" which became another reference to go off topic.
  81. And nothing bad happens when the battle is coming up.
  82. ("Where's your pretty daughter, Nala?" "Vitani!") Nope. Sorry. Vitani's dead. Jesus.
  83. Dude, Timon's tail is not a gun. If so, not for toys.
  84. Also, "meerkat frightening the Outsiders" cliche.
  85. ("You will never hurt Kiara. Or Simba. Not will I'm here!") Man, this is not good enough for the Outsiders. You're in the Pride Lands in a kids movie. Go ahead.
  86. ("I'll never let it go! This is for you...Scar.") For the last time, Scar didn't exist in this time period!
  87. ("SIMBA, THE RIVER!") I know! That's because Simba can't make it to the edge of the Pride Lands! That's in every direct-to-video for a plan.
  88. (when Zira fell to the cliff) What if this happened while every last time Zira died?
  89. Man, that's totally the end of Zira, right?
  90. "Logs stop floating and water is gone" cliche.
  91. And nothing bad happens to the Outsiders ever again.
  92. It's just now gathering a Pride Lands ceremony? That's amazing! Why should we give it to the direct-to-video ending?
  93. Four way sound effect roaring.
  94. ("Well done, my son.") What the f*cking f*ck is this f*ckery? Is he giving leaves to Simba?
  95. ("We are one.") We are what? The Pride Lands? The Outsiders? The banishers? (the title "The End") Oh sh*t, now our lifetime of this movie buries to me to puns!
  96. 55 seconds of instrumental song in the end credits.
  97. It took eight screenwriters to write this turd.
  98. In case you missed literally refrain in the movie for a few minutes ago, here's the f*cking pop version of that sh*t!
  99. Wait a minute, where was Los Angeles in a cartoon movie?
  100. Also, four and a half minutes of more credits.

Movie Sin Tally: 100
Sentence: Banishing the Outsiders

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