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The EWW episode to the 2015 movie The Good Dinosaur.

Transcript Edit

  • 45 seconds of logos as usual, even though you all have them memorized at this point.
  • I get that the movie is rewriting prehistory for the sake of story, but it's worth noting that the dinosaurs went extinct 66 million years ago, and humans started doing human things 10 million-ish years ago, so the movie wants me to believe that nothing ELSE could have happened between the moment the meteor missed the Earth and this moment that would've either killed the dinosaurs or, through evolution, altered their appearance so drastically that we wouldn't be able to tell what is what? ...I guess so.
  • Minus one sin because holy f*ck that looks like real f*cking water.
  • Damn, these dinosaurs learned how to grow crops in some straight-ass lines!
  • (Henry cuts a tree in half using his tail) Movie expects me to believe that Apatosauruses evolved to have retractable axes in their tails.
  • (Henry throws the recently-chopped tree into a pile using his mouth) And super strength!
  • Well, with this kind of evolution, it's a wonder the Earth ever thought humans were necessary at all.
  • If they can build a device for seeding, they can certainly build a plow.
  • They also evolved hyper intelligence, which raises the question: how did they build tools like this without hands? There's no way they could tail-whack that thing together.
  • OK, we eat the big one, we raise the little ones as slaves. Agreed?
  • Aside from surprising the parents and the audience, is there any reason for Arlo's egg to have been so big when he's so small? Because I don't think that would actually happen.
  • Also, if I was Arlo's mom, I'd be kinda pissed right now. "I pushed out this giant-ass egg for this?!"
  • Arlo's siblings come out of their eggs running and practically flying, yet Arlo struggles to take his first steps.
  • You might expect me to sin this dino-society for placing such high value on muddy footprints, but instead I'll sin the fact that this STONE-based structure can be held up on four tiny wooden posts.

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