Transcript Edit

1. (2012 Universal Pictures logo is shown) Comcast.
2. (Illumination Entertainment logo starts playing when two minions argue about the fanfare used in the first movie) If you think this 14 seconds of unnecessary Minioning just for a f*cking logo is annoying, well then, you should immediately drug yourself before watching the actual movie.
3. (two men are wearing yellow coats playing a game of cards in the Arctic Circle) Slowrolling.
4. Jesus, can't ANY characters that are prominently yellow say anything comprehensible in these movies?
5. El Macho has a magical black hole that lifts sucking things off the ground dramatically one by one, instead of all at the same time like a normal wormhole.
6. This guy loves his gun so much that he refuses to let it go, even when he's being pulled up high enough that certain death is imminent.
7. Cool shot and all, buy why are metal objects falling? I thought everything was being sucked up into the blackholetic Space Wormhole.
8. (a Wilhelm scream sound effect is heard) Arctic Circlehelm Scream.
9. (a portable potty door has left open while a man at the Arctic Circle is reading a newspaper) Motherf*cker! It takes all of 3 minutes to literally head straight into the toilet.
10. Also, ha ha, movie, but you're saying this guy went through the magnet lifting the Porta-Potty up, THEN dropping it from a terrific height, but he just kept reading the f*cking paper???
97-95. Definitely gonna remove a sin for this dope Pharrell track, but it ALSO reminds that this song lost the Oscar to Let It Go that year. Let It Go!!! LET IT GO??? I can't dance in my car to that bulls*it! For the egregious Academy error, I'll remove 2 more sins. You're welcome Pharrell.
99. (Gru throws a frisbee into the sewer) 20 seconds of Gru returning to old-school Gru-age. Gotta play the hits, kids.
100. Also, I guess Pharrell didn't get a "Sad" song composed for this montage.
103-108. The fact that actual kids copied this noise frequently and openly after seeing this movie earns it 5 additional sins, and that'll be MORE if you keep this up, young man!